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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
i fired from a pistol today!! Ahaha i was so excited and nervous before and during the whole thing, like my hand was just sweat sweat... Ahh was damn kanchiong while that air pistol guy was teaching me... Anyway i suck really bad :( Out of 5 shots, only 2 hit the paper, and its not even in the smaller central circle somemore... Aiyo. :p But it was quite fun! Can act act cool abit with a PISTOL whooooo ahaha. Siew ee's friend, that jiangshui is some chao pro... The way he shoots is damn cool and got style one, and his hand is damn damn steady... UNLIKE REGINA. Ahahhaha she fired dunno how many, and none hit the paper. :p But of course she did it on purpose. Yes. ^_^
Anyway after we played around with pistols and rifles, we went to orchard to eat. JS bought food for all of us to share... my goodness he is so nice!! I've never known anyone like him before...! He is also damn funny and very cute, like whenever we talk talk talk then suddenly ask his opinion or something, he'll be like, "Wha?" then very blur ahaha. His eyes are like ee ghim's! Precious moments kind of tear drop eyes!
Anyway! After eating they all came over to my home, except regina (she had training). They all came and disturbed my puppy dog then rubbished around until dinner time, then rubbished somemore until afghan complain scared wait his mommy scold him go home too late. So they all left, and something amusing happened after that... i was in the shower when i heard my younger sis saying, "Someone left their hp and wallet behind!!" and i was like, whaaa?? Ahahhahaha turns out that js forgot :p So silly, most important things also can forget :p
Tomorrow theres no lessons but we're going to school to play bball... Plus theres training 6pm at ccab... TRAINING LEH NOT GAME &$#*$^... k nvm. i think i'm falling sick... Kept sneezing during lectures today and sniffling... i think its due to lack of sleep!!
rockin' at 11:50 PM
Monday, March 29, 2004
i bloody hell detest the bloody NJ uniform. i think i look like shit in it (yes regina i know i always look like shit) but anyway i did something about the length being too short and about the groin (or is it lower tummy area) looking fat. Grr... i was damn irritated and feeling damn self-concious today in school... And regina jiahwa didnt help much by suaning me say i ACBC then what lah i look like shit somemore... Siigh. Stupid fucking uniform. Grr. I'M NOT ALTERING IT ANYMORE. I'M LEAVING IT BE. THERE. STUFF IT.
i feel like complaining tonight. My back hurts... Especially during training today, cos we were doing short corner, then have to keep bending over to stop the pull outs... i think its either damn weak or damn strained/injured?? i dunno i was pretty pissed... Getting ready to stop then halfway OOOWWWW back hurt like shit. *#@&$*##$.
Regina again managed to embarrass me today... i damn shy lor... Arrg i feel like hiding in a hole now. Knock for me when the sun comes up, will you? Thanks. ^_^
rockin' at 11:34 PM
You are...
The Priss
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDf)
Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.
Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.
These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.
You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy
CONSIDER: The Manchild
From http://www.okcupid.com/ Yes yes i was bored :o
rockin' at 12:30 AM
Sunday, March 28, 2004
This dude, Mr. Ed on the forums did something REALLY COOL with his digital camera.
Patio
Agent Smith
Damn that is good stuff.
rockin' at 9:44 PM
Fuck i feel like shit now. Ho hum.
rockin' at 1:40 AM
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Foo Fighters - Everlong
Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong
Tonight I throw myself in two
Out of the red
Out of her head she sang
Come down and waste away with me
Down with me
Slow, how you wanted it to be
I'm over my head
Out of her head she sang
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Breathe out
So I can breathe you in
Hold you in
And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head
Out of my head I sang
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She Sang
And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
Download the acoustic version. Now. Gogogo.
rockin' at 10:56 PM
i have yarn's big blue umbrella. It was so heavy and kept threatening to blow me away whenever the wind blew, not that i'm amazingly light or anything but cos it was that damnned good at trapping air. Anyway! Today went out to celebrate shanna's bday. k fine we didnt actually celebrate, we just hung out a orchard...
i feel so damn guilty. i ate the huge slice of CHEESECAKE at coffee bean and actually managed to FINISH IT! Sheat i can actually feel the cream and cheese gathering at my stomach/waist right now. Why not my chest, why is it always somewhere else undesirable?! Grr... Next time i shall invent a pill that makes sure that all the FAT that we eat goes to our chest. I'm sure i'll make ALOT of women happy. Imagine eating icecream knowing that its helping to increase your bust size. ZERO GUILT. Oh ho ho.
Anyway. We got shanna the Moonchild Gackt and HYDE (after hearing how picky picky they are about caps) picture book thingy! ITS UTTERLY AAMAZING! We looked through it, and kept wondering, how can ANYONE be THAT PERFECT?! Perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect jawline, perfect EVERYTHING OK? Ok. You get the point. Lolol the Mos buger auntie said "whoa whos that girl very pretty arh" then shanna was like, "not girl... boy boy boy see this pic boy boy got adam's apple see boy boy" k she left after the first 2 boy-s so shanna was basically talking to herself. As usual :o :p Heehee...
i think we rubbished quite alot today... Especially at coffeebean. Lolol @ random stuff whose details are all a blur to me right now. Oh, the illustrations to Madonna's English Roses are SOO WONDERFUL. Its really pretty and very very nice to look at... BUT the story itself isnt that great. i think she tried a bit too hard to be "personal" though.
Anyway i miss yarn! Shes still her same old self despite some "changes" >_> @ sexy hair and pubbing BUT i still love her! Even though she wouldnt want me as her girlfriend cos she says i'm too ugly for her! FINE HAVE YOUR WOOLLY MAMMOTH! But anyways, it was so wonderful to finally have someone who loves to sing the same songs as you... Jimmy Eat World's No Sensitivity, Sweetness etc etc lolol... We kinda embarrassed shanna and huiee by singing the wonderful lyrics out loud in orchard mrt, but hey. i KNOW they enoyed it. We need a hat. So that we can collect the endless coins that are FIGHTING TO GET INTO OUR POCKETS.
Some random rubbish,
Looking at a very crowded wisma taka walkway,
Yarn: "Oh no. Human jam"
Me: "If i replace every single human here with strawberries, do we get strawberry jam??"
Yarn: "i think so. But then again strawberry jam isnt made out of strawberries only, you know. Theres also water and sugar."
Me: "So we need water and sugar."
Yarn: "Yes but humans are made out of carbon. So is sugar. So afterall, we are human jam."
Me: "Aha. i see."
Shit i forgot the "maybee" one... And "armchair" and so many others. Shit yarn we need to publish a book on all our deep thoughts. I'm sure it'd sell better than Madonna's English Roses.
On a more serious note, fuck i just found out today that Regina, Jia Hwa and Vince, my 3 closer friends in s10 ARE POSTED TO A FUCKING DIFFERENT CLASS. Fuck i was saying that i wouldnt really care what class i'm posted to right now, after all my friends are all SPLIT UP. Especially regina, i will really miss her rubbish disturbing me during lectures asking, "am i pretty?" and her insults aimed at serjing, "hes ugly. Your taste is really very bad... He's a piece of shit." And her random question and random comments... Sob... :( And vince! My ice cream eating buddy! Bridge and bball player! Stoning friend! :( I'll miss seeing him play with his pen practising pen tricks and his constant whines, "i'm hungry..." Sob... :( And jiahwa... her laughter and act hippy hoppy moves... Her singing, sometimes opera style but nevertheless bearable to hear, i will miss everything!! :(:(:( Its not the same you know, when they are in a different class... :( i hope i dont hate my new class.
rockin' at 10:52 PM
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I'm so glad i didnt pon physics lecture today! Ser Jing was sitting right in front of regina (on my right) and as for afghan, his diana was behind him two seats away on his left!! :o Ying Ying was also sitting in front of me... Oh man vince should have come lolol. It was like eye candy heaven! Hoho then regina so smart... Right at the start she told serjing, "hey... my friend thinks youre cute" lol i was like how embarrassed there but i didnt say anything, and he was like... "ya your friend has good taste" heehee so cute ^_^ Then they started bitching at each other... and i kept siding serjing obviously. Regina thinks i'm biased cos i think hes cute. Shes not wrong. Hahahhaha. Anyway throughout the whole lecture i kept swooning over him (hes left handed too!!) and regina kept suaning my taste. Whaaatevaaa hehe. Then throughout the whole lecture i also kept saying afghan... kept calling him to look at his princess (SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER!)
So! At the end, serjing his whole row stood up to leave, and regina asked him to remove the white shirt he was wearing inside his nj uniform cos it didnt look nice. (BUT the nj uniform looks HAAAWT on him) Then his friend, Lionel sitting next to him said something like, "ya you look like a faggot" and his reply was "at least i dont look as bad as you" or something to that effect. HAHAHAHHA, you know i was laughing so hard cos he was being so so cute plus he looked at me!! HAHAHAHA i'm mad. But very happy. VERY.
OK more interesting happenings/progress!! So after lecture, diana's class and ours stayed behind... it was like, obviously both our classes were waiting for something to happen... So FINALLY this guy, Jiang Shui, he rocks lah k he went over to our row and asked us to intro jason to him (ie, his class... diana!) So we were like, OK lets play bridge!!! LOLOL IT WAS DAMN FUNNY.
So we made jason sit beside diana (he was damn damn nervous, tense, excited, his body temp actually went up) and they play play until we all decided to introduce FORFEIT to the winners.
SHIT IT WAS DAMN FUNNY so siew ee and that jiangshui paired up, with jason and diana as the other pair. So they wanted jason and diana to win right, LOL THEY PLAYED LIKE SHIT they kept losing sets LOLOL, but the funniest was when jason and diana's small card (maybe 7 dime or something) "FLUSHED" OUT THE ACE OF SPADE AND ACE OF HEARTS ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! Me and regina were laughing like hell cos they were damn good actors, saying, "AIYO" "UGH" "WASTED" when they throw their HUGE cards HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA really tak boleh tahan!!!
So the forfeit for them was to take a picture together! SO CUTE the border was heart-shaped! And when i said, "jason the frame cannot fit you all move CLOSER to her, LEAN abit" he leaned like, 2-3 degrees toward her, as stiff as a board LOLOL. OH throughout the entire thing, he never spoke a word... cept when bidding, but other than that, he was sooo silent! Aiyooo so cute lor. Then after that, we crashed their lecture (we abit extra lah wrong LT) and he sat right in front of her... and regina jiahwa and i, along the aisles... haha.
Anyway... thoughts on things... We think that afghan has a good chance. Diana didnt seem to be bothered by him, in fact she seemed like interested in things? She played along with everything so things are looking good... But all he needs is her CONTACT! HER HP NO! i mean, although he can easily get it from siew ee, he SHOULD get it directly from her. So we are trying our best.... Now that our two classes are friendly and seem to support the two ^_^ it should be alright, if he actually manages to GATHER HIS COURAGE TO TALK TO HER. JIA YOU.
Anyway regina rocks. Its great talking to her... Throughout the whole of econs and physics lecture we were talking, gossiping, asking random questions... Aiyo i realise she has pretty low self confidence leh. Dont worry regina if i were a guy i'd jio you! Maybe. LOL. And i think you're pretty k? ^_^ Circle Yes/No. Haha. Ok enough liao i'm gonna talk to afghan on msn now... i wanna know his feelings ^_^
rockin' at 10:02 PM
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The drama thing we had in school today was funny. So the theater was damn crowded, and i went to sit in the front row dragging/encouraging others along (i prefer the latter term to be used). Erm big mistake? LOLOL the thing was damn funny the way they acted so cute so i couldnt stop laughing like some stupid shit there. Anyway then we had this personality crap talk thing, where we did so many various tests i dont remember if i'm intellectual or outgoing or maybe just plain silly. Me and regina sat next to each other (uh-oh) and i was in a pretty good mood so we made alot of noise, cos EARLIER, I GOT A DAMN GOOD VIEW OF DETTOL lolol during the whole of lunch break somemore so it was pretty funny haha me and afghan talking to each other but our eyes were fixed on someone else LOLOL. Dettol has a sexy back. The area between his shoulders falls inwards and it looks damn hot. Ok i'd better stop haha. :p
So! After school we went for class outing to orchard... LOLOL something very funny happened. And embarrassing. So we were walking from the far east busstop towards lido, then in front of us there was this group of hot hot japanese lookalike teenage guys... This sexy guy on the extreme right caught my eye, and i mentioned that to regina and the girls, saying he quite cute. OHH MAAAN WRONG MOVE they started teasing me, then regina said loudly, "STEFNI LIKES THE GUY ON THE RIGHT" then something about me thinking hes cute HAHAHHAHAHA i was so embarrassed luckily they walked past us already, then i didnt dare turn around but amanda's rgs friend so cute, also think hes hot then said, "Why you never turn around?! He turned around to look at you leh! Why you never say hi!" LOLOL i thought it was damn funny so after that we were all in a very high/good mood. Hahahahhaha they are so rubbish sometimes.
Oh we also went to take neoprint... Hahaha i think for the guys its their first time?? Ya hehe anyway the machine was damn cool... can take alot alot of shots and choose the best 4, so much better than other machines where your choices are limited. So we kept smiling and cheesing and peace sign-ing until very tired cos it just seemed to go on and on hahahha... Then finally we went to decorate it, then DAMN FUNNY that stupid regina went to write "CORK HEADS" on the bottom of one picture, and jing long smartly went to grab the pen and drew an arrow pointing to her only HAHAHHAHA it looks damn cool. HAhahaha the pictures are all very lame... got what, "sexah" lah then got bees and flowers on people's head and got doggie ears also haha... Siau. :p
ANYWAY! HUIJIA GOT IN! HUIJIA GOT IN! WHOO HOOOO~! I'm so in love with you now. Hahahhahahah yey but you need to buy uniform on your own :p Okay... now i'm hoping and wishing and praying that jinglong gets in... I'm pretty worried now. :(
rockin' at 9:28 PM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I'm tired. :o i should sleep early tonight.
i miss suwen ;_;
rockin' at 10:01 PM
Monday, March 22, 2004
First day of term 2! i took bus to school (first time haha) yeaa turns out i was pretty early. i realise, i can actually wake up at 6:30 and STILL be on time! Hahahah this rocks. Anyway today was damn boring. Met our new class people (ALL GIRLS LOLOL) and err "bonded"? Very limited though. Anyway dont know them really well... barely talked to them so i have no impression. We went to coro to eat, then regina left :( and we returned to school to STONE until physics lecture... i wanted to poooooon but nooooooooooo they all had to act quai today. Fine. i didnt feel very well during phy, was feeling abit sick? So i shaddap during the entire lecture... Anywaaay after that was kinda silly. We just rubbished in the canteen playing cards for the rest of the time. OH jinglong came to visit Nj... he was posted to Sa :(:(:( and he's trying to appeal in through soccer... but its damn sad. Like, 6 soccer players appealing, and there are like 0-2 slots? And its like... you also dont wanna fight, yet it sucks to be stuck in a school you dont want to be in. So he came with this really really down look... Then he went away with soccer people abit, and at the end just before he left with Stanley, he was told me... "I'm gonna miss your brownies" there and then, i felt SOO DOWN i felt like i could cry... Hes SO NICE, and its damn damn sad to see him go. i tried like persuading him to fight for a place, but he had that look, like he gave up already? :(:( i definetely will miss him if he goes to Sa... Stupid ten point partial shit. i feel like swearing but theres no point.
Ok to pull up the mood. So after we got bored of bridge and hearts and cards in general, me and vince started playing the game where you draw a card from the deck... So he drew a card, and was like, "I SURE BEAT YOU. If not i will..." He havent finished his sentence, i drew a card and threw it down. WHAM ACE OF SPADES. HAHAHHAHAHA he got the Ace of Hearts! LOLOL WHATS THE PROBABILITY OF THAT HAPPENING?!?! Then... i figured we should play again. Whats the probability of something stupid like that happening again? So we drew... and he was like, "I SURE LOSE YOU ONE. CONFIRM. 100%" i drew my card, and was damn confident myself of losing to him, so we made a stupid bet. THEN, WHAM WE THREW OUR CARDS DOWN. i got the two of spade, and he got the two of DIAMONDS. Immediately when i saw his card i went, "OH FUCK" lololol damn funny. Weird, you know. The wonders of probability.
rockin' at 7:00 PM
Sunday, March 21, 2004
i think i've listened to Incubus's I Miss You (acoustic) at LEAST 100 times already since last night. Already tonight its 25? Yeah... Its such a wonderful, beautiful song... Shit. Go download it now, if you havent already listened to the best song on the playlist of angels.
To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you
And its all thanks to huijia! Thanks love you lots! ^_^
rockin' at 2:22 AM
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Watched Eye 2 yesterdaaay... With afghan vince and huijia... ERm ok lah the movie wasnt THAT scary. The first one was SO MUCH more better... Scare factor. Anyway huijia managed to destroy vince's shirt. Shes hum lah when it comes to this kind of thing... hahaha so he abit suay kena sit next to her. i sat between hj and afghan so not so bad. At first it was only hj then shes like not nice to hide behind so lucky afghan sat next to me. Ohoho me and hj screamed out twice in the show. One time is totally her fault. Its she scream then i scream. Hahahhahahaha....
Anyway! Today was rubbish. i woke up at 12:30 (UNINTENTIONAL) and had lunch... was damn super hungry. Then slack slack messed around with my guitar (shit i'm getting my callouses back again) and perfecting the Radiohead shit. Sucks i can only do one thing at a time... like i cant sing or hum along whilst playing. K i can, but then my playing would be a bit off beat. Fuck i'm irritated with my lousy self now.
ANYWAY then i decided to watch some tv. Watched some world's best places to get a tan. WHOA then see all the beaches and sexy babes there having a tan topless (got censor lah) damn hot sia. But i managed to fall asleep halfway HAHAHAHA LUCKILY i managed to wake up at 4... Training was at 5. So i DRAGGED my lazy half-asleep body off the comfy couch and prepared... Aiyo halfway to ccab started raining... Anyway today played against Crecent Club. SAW SO MANY LOVELY PPLE! AND COW GAVE ME A PURPLE FUCK BAND YEAAAAA MY FAV COLOUR SHIT I'M DAMN HAPPY. Ahahhahahahhaha... yeaaah miss all you guys alot! I'm glad i went for dinner with all of you... Despite the danger of getting into trouble with my mom... AUGH. i mean... fine i understand they are worried for me... but its like... Ten?? i dunno i mean... augh i dont feel like saying anything else. AND ALSO. My sister... doesnt... have to be so... bloody sacarstic when telling me to be home early?? Its damn rude and irritating. Makes my lose respect for her in a way? Ya.
So now i'm listening to Incubus's I Miss You, the acoustic version. Shit its damn nice...
To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you
rockin' at 1:22 AM
Thursday, March 18, 2004
This morning... i woke up at 7. Then for a minute, i wondered... What am i doing up at this hour??? Then sadly i remembered that i had training at 8... UGH i dragged my half-asleep self out of bed and reminded myself that i have to leave the house in 15 mins. i seriously thought i was going to be like 20 mins late... The buses decided to take their own sweet time to come somemore. Anyway yarr i fell asleep on the 174 bus... :o luckily didnt miss my stop. Anyway i wasnt late! i arrived at 8:08am not baaaad right. So anyway we ran 4km today, the straight line last guy sprint to the front drill thing thoughout the 4km. Yeaa... we took quite long to finish it. Me and huijia thought it was pretty boring... Cos it was lah k. So after that did a bit of conditioning then YESSS trng over. Then there was this soccer match, Nj vs Temasek JC, so me and hui jia wanted to watch. Yaa before the game i saw jl, then i noticed he was limping and stuff so i asked him, "JL! You injured arh??" His reply was... "Fuck lah. Chee bye." Ahahha huijia thought he was damn cool.
Anyway the game was quite nice to watch... inbetween me and huijia gossiping and snacking. Nj won 3-0 i think?? Should be lah around there... yeah then today quite a few ccas so can point out the different "interesting" pple to her. ANYWAY GOOD NEWS! FOR ME AT LEAST. IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER YOU BUT WHAT THE HELL!
DETTOL SPOKED TO ME TOOOODAY!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO you know i was so bloody happy that i couldnt stop smiling and hj kept laughing at me and i was in such a damn good mood that i waved to Nike (practising lion dance cca) even though i dont know him well! BUT I WAS HAPPY! i jumped around like a mad woman and i kept rambling on and on and hj was like scolding me ahahahha BUT I DONT CAARE!
Anyway i was supposed to go out after that but i was seriously very very tired and sleepy... My eyes were half open during our gossiping sessions and everything so i dont think i could have survived the day awake. So i apologised then went home and sleeeeeeeept! Spent time with my sis, watched Runaway Jury together with her :)
rockin' at 2:50 AM
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I DID IT. i finally dissected my own frog (or two) yesterday! I'm so proud of myself... :):):) Anyway, for the first half i was paired with vince as usual, and we did everything as per normal... At first he wanted me to try dissecting the frog, but the frog that we got, sadly was quite a fighter, and i was afraid of it squirming and struggling during the dissection. So i held back. BUT THEEN! After lunch, i found out that there wasnt enough instructors for us to pair up, so i had to take a class on my own... But for moral support, i paired with huijia (DNA class) and we did the one class didnt have to switch over.
i was so freaked... when i caught the frog by the way that Vincent (senior guy) taught, i thought... Heeey this is pretty easy. The frog was damn tame and didnt mind me holding it... BUT THEN when it came to the part where i had to put it in the chloroform box, things got trickier... Huijia is pretty scared of the frog. After i managed to put it in the box, it struggled and managed to escape out of it and i quickly GRABBED IT before it hopped away... HUIJIA BRAVELY HELPED ME! Despite her fear she knew that i couldnt do it by myself so she helped me cover the container and seeing her press all her weight down on the flimsy container ahahhaha... i was proud of her :D Then after that when it came to the pinning down part... i asked if she could help me pin it down, but she couldnt haha... So i somehow managed to do it myself... Then after that, the part of the first incision... i couldnt seem to do it myself. i asked huijia to call Vincent... So he came in to guide me through each step (while she was in some faraway corner...) Yeah... How do i put it. Its a weird feeling, cutting through flesh... But not at all as difficult as i imagined. The only parts where i got worried was when i accidently cut through the main artery, and cutting through the chest bone to reveal the heart. But i tell you... If it wasnt for Vincent i wouldnt have been able to do it. He somehow forced me to do it, but not really force. Like nudged me forward... with support of course. Like in the beginning when he came in i was ready to stand up from the chair and hand the scapel over to him... But he was like, "Go on. First layer is easy." To the end, after i managed to cut through the chest bone, the heart was revealed, and it was STILL BEATING. i was so so so so happy... my first dissection and it was successful! i was smiling like some cock head. Vincent was also very happy for me... ahahha huijia was still freaked but proud of me. :D
Actually at the start, i dont think Vincent liked me very much... cos of some minor incidents. But after the dissection things got much better ^_^ It was misunderstandings... Not that he was a dick or anything. Hes nice lah. Oh ya i have to say this. When he asked for our names, i said "Stefni" and he repeated after me, "Stefni". I WAS SO SURPRISED. Usually it goes like this:
Average person: "Whats your name?"
Me: "Stefni"
A.P "Stephanie"
Me "Stef-ni"
AP "Stephanie"
and i usually give up after that. But yeah i thought it was cool that he was so sharp. Quite rare, actually. Anyway why i'm writing so much is cos i'm really glad that i did the dissection. Later for the last class, Vince asked me to dissect his frog for him... Cos he got bored :o So yeaah i dissected it pretty ok (though i DID cut the main artery AGAIN i think i should use the scapel more instead of the scissors) and the heart was STILL BEATING! So yay i was happy. Yay vince also didnt insult my dissecting skills... BUT I TELL YOU SOMETHING VERY SAAD!
After the dissection, the kids filled up the feed back forms, and one boy wrote, "FROG KILLER. EVIL AND A WITCH"
SOBSOBSOBSOBSOB HE CALLED ME A WITCH. i'm so hurt... first time anyone has ever did! I'm not a wiiiitch... AUGH and that stupid vince keep rubbing it in, put the boy's paper on the top of the stack lah and everything... SOB. I'M NOT A WITCH K? K.
After the long long day me and hj had hockey at boon lay. Pasir ris travel to boon lay. So nice right. Anyway i think i played like shit last night. My first tackle i slipped on my ass somemore damn malu can. Played against RJ... Saw pauline! Of course... she played damn well as usual. Anyway i was quite proud of the nj team, like... they managed to hold RJ off pretty well k. Yepyep when we arrived it was like 1-0 or something. But by the end of the match i think we lost 3-0? Should be lah.
i was commenting to hj... Like, seeing the difference in hockey as a whole, not skills or anything, but hockey as a whole comparing NJ and Crescent, it makes me feel really very very sad. We worked our asses and social lives off for crescent hockey, for 4 years hockey was our life. We lived hockey, and we loved it. Then wham bam suddenly we have to leave, and hockey to us is transformed somehow... Its not the same, you know. Playing with people you love so much, and playing with some half-hearted newbies who would only stay on in hockey if they make it into the first team. Fuck its like you wonder, why am i doing this? Why do i work my ass off with people who just ball watch and dont give that extra push during games? Hockey is a team game, and it shows when theres a lack of heart, even if it is present in ONE player. So after the game... When karen and ms suhaili were talking to us about the game... i was pretty dazed. i definetely wasnt paying attention and seriously, nothing was going through my mind. Its like this to me, i owe nj, yes i understand. i will continue to play for nj hockey cos they gave me my first 3 months. i will play as hard as i can, for my job as a midfielder, i will just serve balls for the forwards, and defend from attacks. i cant do much more. If the forwards dont want to run for the ball, i cant do anything about it. Shout at most. Suck up and run back to defend. There is like.. no feelings attached to nj hockey. But to Karen, there is... She really feels for it. Last night, she was like... totally into the game. She ran like hell throughout the entire game and pushed extra hard. You could tell she has what i dont. Mine are still attached to crescent hockey... i cant seem to do that switch. i would feel as though i'm cheating on crescent. Reading back on the day that we lost the finals 2003 through flicks... i feel damn empty. Like, whatever. Nj hockey to me now is just a sport. Crescent hockey was a passion.
You dont realise how much you love something, or how attached you are to whatever until you lose it. Sometimes, losing it is inevitable... But if its not, dont let go... Never. The emptiness is pretty sufforcating.
rockin' at 4:30 PM
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Ok so after that we went to Queenstown to try out the really good xiao long pao... but then so sad! It was closed... i didnt realise that they close on mondays, and open only from tues to sun 12pm to 7pm... They damn good lor. Make so much $$ until can choose what time to open shop. Anyway it was raining so it was quite horrible. We ate the the downstairs hawker centre which was quite rubbish.
ANYWAY so after our lunch went to Great World... Guess what we did there?? SO SMART. We stooooned... Actually not really stoned lah. Talked alot... Like really alot alot. i guess i really enjoyed talking to them... We talked about soo many things on so many different levels... Its kinda weird. i dunno... weird in a good way. First time i've had such conversations with people i have only known for a few months? Yeah... but they were pretty easy to talk... In between stoning of course. We talked for hours at least... Yeah. Anyway i really gtg now... Yeah i desperately need sleep. Later...
rockin' at 12:34 AM
Monday, March 15, 2004
So i got alot of messages and calls from home saying THE COMPUTER DOESNT WORK. WTFFFF... i came home and got so worried. The internet connection was screwed, and i tried re-connecting the modem but i did it stupidly '-_- So anyway i asked gw to help me... Yarr i listened to his advice and WHOOPIE DOO! It works. Ahahahhaha i feel a bit stupid and helpless but HEEEY. (Actually i called my sis' bf but he was in jakarta and i didnt wanna waste his $$ so ended call quickly. So embarrassing...) Anyway yarr... It sucks being helpless. My new year's resolution - BE MORE INDEPENDENT. Happy New Year! oh wai
K nvm. Wanna hear my VERY INTERESTING DAY??? OF DISSECTING HUGE GIGANTIC TITANIC MASSIVE FROGS?!?! Yes they are *#@$&^$#@ big. They cost $5 each, and are the kind that you buy from restaurants... So yes they are HUGE.
Anyway this morning i got paired with Vince cos i admitted i wasnt confident doing the frog dissection. i started out pretty strict with my first class... So they were pretty quai lah. As you know i can quite a bitch. So that was what i was this morning... :p ANYWAY my name for that day was "NEMO" ahahha. Thanks to regina that nick got stuck with me... So anyway the kids were so cute. They keep calling me, "NEMO NEMO NEMO JIE JIE" aiyooo i just wanna hug them to death!! So we first dissected sotong... It was pretty gross cos they were smelly and soft and squishy but i didnt mind cos i have cleaned squid before. But ya of course i made vince do the dirty job of collecting and giving out the squid :p Its called being smart. So yaa we were dissecting looking for brains and beaks and siphons... Then suddenly WHAM Steven (ring master) comes in and just totally controls the entire class so easily... By then i was a bit tired cos i had been screaming non-stop (kids will be kids) PLUS vince doesnt scream at kids. He sucks. Leave me to be the bitch and discipline them... Ayyy he like dont mind them screaming and making sooSOO much noise... So ya. But i think i handled them pretty ok. i realise that... i really love kids. i love working with them, being around them... Its so wonderful. Hahahaha then afterwards on the bus back i was telling huijia "I WANT KIDS NOW... wait, not now. Later, yes. Not now." hahahaha. i was such a cock. Yeaaa i love this job!!! i was saying that i would do it even without the money incentive... but the money is good. Just that the kids are wonderful!!! Aiyo aiyo they are sooo darling... Keep calling my jie jie and nemo nemo and this cute boy, shuan kept smiling at me so sweetly ahahaha. You know you know! After the whole thing, there was this feedback form thing they filled out, and THEY WERE SO SWEET! They wrote, "the instructors La La and Nemo were very nice" La La is huijia (doing microscopic class) SO SWEEEEEEET they still like me even though i scream at them endlessly... :D :D :D :D They didnt say anything about vince though :p hahahhahaha. He too quiet lah. Except when he cut frog... Okaaay on about the frog.
The first dissection i saw this morning (done by Steven pro) was pretty nerve wrecking... Erm... it wasnt THAT bad but my squemish side did show and he did like pass me a comment confirming that i was abit scared :p which was true lah. i just didnt enjoy seeing the frog mutilated. Anyway the first disscetion went damn well obviously cos Steven handled it... i saw my first live heart beating and internal organs of a live frog. That was pretty cool.. but the last part SUCKED. THE PART WHERE WE (k not we, vince.) had to THROW the LIVE DISSECTED frog away... i mean its heart was still beating... it was quite sad...
Anyway! For the second frog... we didnt chlorofoam it for like a damn long time or whatever... So while vince was dissecting it, it BEGAN TO MOVE A BIT. LIKE WTFFFF i was damn bloody scared cos its intestines were spilling out liao and i didnt want it to wake up in that state!!! So it struggled until like, the pin holding its hand down came off... Erm then i got quite freaked and screamed along with the pri 5 kids (lolol) and kept tugging at vince's shirt telling him to quickly pin it down... Then so cute the kids kept teasing me say, "NEEEMO YOU SCARED! hahahhaha your face all red leh!" aiyo i really think i abit scared kind... Tomorrow cannot let that happen! i must brave it. Ohoho.
OK I DONT FEEL LIKE WRITING ANYMORE. Except to say that i loved the kids today and i'm glad they liked me even though i was pretty bitchy, cos i kept shouting at them to sssshhhh! :D
rockin' at 11:51 PM
i just downloaded the ACOUSTIC version of New Radical's Someday We'll Know! i love their original mtv... i thought it was damn damn cool. Mandy just had to go and disturb the song... gr... anyway! The lyrics in all its new radical glory...
90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?
rockin' at 12:42 AM
Sunday, March 14, 2004
I'm listening to Norah Jones' Come away with Me... my gawd i didnt realise her music is so beautiful...
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee - high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me
Shit i'm in a damn sappy, romantic mood now... Especially when i hear those highlighted lines, i feel like... Oh my gawd, i feel like cuddling up with someone and a good book with Norah Jones' music playing in the background... i think its the first time i felt like this?? Hahhaa perhaps i should go off to bed now must be fatigue :p
rockin' at 3:53 AM
LOLOLOL SHIT THIS IS FUNNY. K so on the forums someone asks, what do you look for in your partner?
gatts (m): Tits and ass.
steppenwolf (f): Great personality?
TGO (m): She's got to be hot.
Nomad (m): Needs to know who Kofi Annan is.
Me And The Moon Car (m): You see here we witness the differences between men and women. Women choose their partners for shallow reasons such as having lots of money and so on; men choose their partners on much more substantial assets, such as having big breasts.
AHAHHAHAHA
rockin' at 12:22 AM
This is funky.. on my first try too...
DAMN i cant seem to get Rivers Cuomo (from Weezer) on the sexy musicians who you will marry thing tho... :( Hahahhaa
rockin' at 12:15 AM
Saturday, March 13, 2004
OH FUCK YEAH!
I ABSOUTELY LOVE and you will know us by the trail of the dead SHIT YEAH OMG THIS IS SO COOL. I'M IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN.
SHIIIIIIIIIIT ANOTHER ONE!
This is madness. Bright Eyes are like a fucking good rock band, but i catch 5 stds :( BUT i make so much money. Hahhahahaha i should stop this...
rockin' at 11:54 PM
How can you purposely torture and kill a creature for the sake of "education"?? i dont understand... i know i might be on the verge of being hypocritical, but i just cant imagine doing that on monday. The video i saw this afternoon was simply unnerving... you see the frog's glassy eyes staring emptily, with the knowledge that it will die soon in your hands. You pin it down as though it were an article and you snip at its skin despite you knowing that it is OKAY, that it is PERFECTLY HEALTHY AND FINE, and what you're doing to it is going to drastically shorten its life.
How the hell am i supposed to do that? And then open it up in "layers", prodding and poking its different organs as its heart still beats and lungs still inflate... And also, i dont think i can correctly pin point the different organs... i'd most probably say the frog's stomach is its heart or something silly... :( i really hope that that guy in charge of everything is gonna help me out... Or else i can just release the frog and tell the kids to go download the online frog dissection video clip :p
rockin' at 10:11 PM
I'm damn nervous now... i'm doing a draft of the classroom lesson that i'm gonna give on monday, and i realise that its not easy!!! :( Its for this job that Afghan offered, its to teach pri 5 kids on dissection, and the pay is like $62 for 3 hours, which is wonderful. So now i've got the notes and i'm supposed to be this overly enthusiastic "instructor" whos gonna cut up squids and live frogs :(:( i'm pretty nervous about the frog part, cos its ALIVE and i have to KILL IT. HOW I'M DAMN SCARED. Huijia is doing the cells class, and she says that Afghan is also worried for me :(:( obviously cos i know nuts about bio! Now i'm researching about cutted-up squids and frogs ugh... WISH ME LUCK that i dont screw up and start stuttering and basically mess up everything :(
[edit] i cant cut up a frog, i'm sure of it... i just saw an online video and i think i'm gonna cry :( Its damn hard plus its insides are so confusing...
rockin' at 3:29 PM
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Today i met up with Kevin! Soooo long never see him! Ahahaha... now in quite good mood. Yarr! So after school i arranged to meet up with him for dinner... Ohoh i must say this weird thing that happened to me just now... So after school i was waiting at the stupid Nj bus stop for my bus to come, then waiting waiting by myself then suddenly i saw this chinese high guy walking up to me. Then suddenly he says to me, "Hi my name is ____ (i dont remember) i like to talk. Would you like to talk to me now?" Then i said i was in a hurry for my bus and stuff, then he said, "but can talk while waiting for your bus to come" then i went, "but i dont know you. Sorry but i dont want to talk to you... Ya, sorry." Then he asked what bus i was taking, then he went to sit at the busstop... i was damn damn freaked out... he came from the overhead bridge so i doubt that hes from Nj, and there were alot of hcjc people at the bus stop, so i guess should be hc lah... i didnt see his badge. It was quite scary cos he looked a bit off, i mean... maybe cos i'm scared of him or something but to me, he looked off lah k. And who the hell says "i like to talk"?? :(:(:(
Ohh then today i didnt do pe right, so ya i was sitting alone at the benches alternating between the soccer game and basketball game going on at the same time. So i was facing the courts on my right, then i hear this voice, "hey ho! hello! Why you dont respond to my voice one?!" i was damn shocked cos this j1 girl was talking to me. i have no idea who she is... Anyway she asks why i not "pe-ing" and i said my ankle got problem, then she said "so tragic!" and i said, "tragic?! ahahhaha" and we both laughed. Still no idea who she is... Anyway yaa. Today was quite weird.
Anyway! On to the lovely evening... yaa met kev at orchard mrt... his sec sch teacher was there talking to him, i was quite scared like who is that lady?? Wait his aunt or something so malu >_< Anyway we then go to PS to eat dinner at cafe cartel, my first time there! The food was pretty good too! We talk talk talk... Then after that i had macs icecream (haha right after dinner somemore) and we walked to YMCA cos kev said got some performace... Walk walk talk alot more... Then reached there realised, silly kev thought today was a friday and it turns out its not, so didnt have ahaha. Nvm! We walked then to this nice place further down from fish&co, its really nice with water fountains and with good ambience (irish) so cool so cool. We sat there for a bit talk talk talk then SADLY got chased away by the security guard... he shouted like some hooligan =p SOO we walked somemore to cine, the cinema upstairs... there got couches so finally, we managed to find a place to talk and not be disturbed. Somemore not say cine upstairs was damn crowded or anything so it was nice. Oh ya! He gave me his Vj badge so nice hor... Ya i was wearing it pretending to be a vjcian while he wore the nj badge... Yay. So we talked til it got quite late (his mom tried calling him) so we decided to call it a day... Then he walked me to my bus stop then we talk somemore until bus came. i realised we had alot of talking to do!! Soo many things to catch up on ay ay... And yes yes, you got the quai look :) And i'm very happy! Cos he was so nice to me, and he said that i dont look like at all like a filipino maid! :D ahahahhaha i'm so happy.
I'm actually very very tired now... Like falling asleep at the key board... i need sleep! My body cannot keep up with the late nights forever... So... ok! Night!
rockin' at 11:21 PM
It rained the whole day again today! i love rain. i love the smell of rain. It has this freshness to it, as though God came and opened a new pack of freshly packed air - he pours it out on Singapore and says, "ENJOY IT YALL WHILE YOU CAN!!!" Cos its all gonna get polluted again anyway. Anyway ya so today i didnt go for training. Afghan vince and i went town to watch movie after stoning in school for hours (someone couldnt decide to go OAC??!) we went cine, then lido then ps cos all the movie timings all cock up one. So irritating. Anyway i wanted to watch Butterfly Effect cos i read the reviews and i heard it was good so we did! And it was good! Very very mind boggling movie! It kinda got me thinking a bit... but then i stopped cos my brain DECIDED NOT TO WORK ANYMORE TODAY.
Today in school i didnt pon any lessons!!! Though i wish i ponned econs. Pchia was a bitch again today. SOMEHOW, she FINALLY found the work that jinglong and i did LAST MONTH though it was placed in her letter tray, she somehow couldnt find it. Until now. Wow shes quite an amazing woman, huh. Anyway she went around checking if we did our work in the tys but alot of people didnt even bring their tys and she got this pissy look on her face and i didnt want to face her. She wasnt really interested if i did have my book or not, i think she gave up on me liao so thats nice to hear.
Ohh after school we were messing around with cards and i found out that Afghan boy can throw cards DAMN WELL. Like, damn fast and damn straight! Can kill people kind! VERY ninja-like! If only he had a couple of those stars and a dummy to practice on, maaaan he'll be transformed to some modern afghani samurai! Reminds me of june abit >_< haha. You ninja worm.
Okok good things about vince... man this is hard. He oh so humbly reminded me to add in some nice things about his humble self. What can i say? Erm... err.... Ahh..... He's good to pon lessons with! He's a good ice-cream eating friend! Though he eats so fast that the ratio of icecream death for vince:me must be at least 3:1... He can talk rubbish for hours! (Thats not necessarily nice but still it can be if you're in a rubbishy mood!) He loves stars and the solar system and whatnot! He helps me in physics! He and his group suck at chem practical thus making us all laugh! He eats watery porridge without complaining! He loves the vince bear! (awwwwww)
Overall, he is rubbish! Isnt that the best thing i can say? ;)
rockin' at 12:22 AM
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Regina: "You dont look at me that way leh wait i think you like me"
hahahha
rockin' at 1:13 AM
i just want to say that i recently made a new friend! Cos every morning this acsi guy walks by the grandstand where i always sit. He joined hockey and is in my chinese class... Usually we dont acknowledge each other, but the other day during chinese i just spoke to him. So i decided to be nice, and i try to smile at him in the morning!! This morning so cute. He was walking up then i was fiddling with my phone, then last minute i look up and smile, and he didnt expect it or something then he looked quite amused like little boy lololol... Ya then he said, "You're here again. You're always here..." Ahaha ya i then said something about waiting for friends. i then realised that, he has a DAMN NICE VOICE. Usually i dont notice these kinds of things but i dunno it must have been pretty outstanding :p ahaha i want to talk to him again.
In a better mood today, i had my favourite strawberry icecream!!
rockin' at 12:00 AM
Monday, March 08, 2004
i really shouldnt say anything right now cos my mind is still blurred from the flurry of thoughts that pound the insides of my fucking tired skull. Lets just say that i'm still uncertain of what the fuck just happened today, and why the fuck it happened like that. i really apologise for my language but this is how i feel right now. i choose to shut up because i dont want to regret what i might say now.
Do you know that when you replied my message with the single word, "nth"... Do you know how much that killed me? i was so hurt i couldnt take it anymore. i think of myself as someone strong, someone who will not let my emotions go easily. But that fucking hurt so much. i couldnt take anything, i just told regina that i felt like crying, and i left the chem lab immediately. i didnt want to face anyone... Luckily regina came after me, and i just cried like an idiot for so long... i am SO GRATEFUL to have her as a friend, i really, REALLY am... i guess not many people show me that kind of concern often as i dont especially need it... but today i just broke. She comforted me soo well i feel as though i owe her eternally :) Thank you SO MUCH REGINA! i love you~! :) i have no comments on the whole thing. i just dont understand so much.
i choose not to go for the overseas KL hockey trip this friday. i dont want to ruin the fucking mood, and i dont think my hockey would be good at all this weekend.
i just want to say that i'm sorry.
rockin' at 9:30 PM
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Shit i am really in deep shit. I've been trying to do my tutorial work for the past two hours, and when i look back, i realise that I DONT KNOW ANYTHING. Chemisty - i've been lost ever since gases to mass spectrometry to now i-dont-remember-the-topic-name-even. Sheeeaaaat... i havent done any assignments for Chem for ages and i havent been listening to lectures and my notes are EMPTY - WHICH MEANS, that i cant even read through on my own even if i wanted to!!! Augh... Then on to ECONS. GRRREAT. PChia hates me, and i SERIOUSLY am lost during lectures AND tutorials... Again, my notes are squeaky clean (cept for the random drawings of regina here and there)... I NEED TO FIND A MUGGER. FAST. A mugger who will lend me their notes! So i can study too, and learn the way of the mugger! My tests are all rubbish too. i got 11/25 for this econs test, whereas REGINA GOT 17/25!!! She didnt study either... i hate her :( Sob. i dont care... next week, I WILL NOT PON ANY LESSONS. AT ALL. DO NOT TEMPT ME. I WILL DO ALL MY WORK AND GO HOME STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL (cept for ccas) AND I WILL SLEEP EARLY AT NIGHT (11-12md max!) NO USING MSN TALKING RUBBISH TIL 4 AM! THAT IS THE TRUE WAY OF A MUGGER.
A whole week isnt very long is it? >_<
rockin' at 3:22 PM
Saturday, March 06, 2004
To counter basically everything that i've been feeling for the past 24 hours, i've just had some strawberries. Strawberries, in case you havent realised, are amazingly sexy fruits. Why is it that during movies, the foxy lady always manages to seduce her man just simply, by eating strawberries? And why is it that whenever i eat them, something goes wrong with my imgae, like the leaves get in the way or my bite is too large and undemure, or my face squinches up because they simply are too sour. Sexiness is not inbred, its an art... a way of life. Something that comes naturally for yarn. *Wink* i love you too~! Thanks so much for putting me on your "World's Bestest Blogger's List!" Teach me the art of sexiness!
Oh and on to more about strawberries. The strawberry flavoured ice cream in my school, in my opinion, rocks. i love it alot alot. Whoever is gonna crash Nj next week (the last available week), remember to try the strawberry icecream! And try acting sexy too when you're eating it! Who knows. The guys may all be flocking to you before you reach the cone!
rockin' at 11:52 PM
i was still not in the best of moods this morning. Met huijia then went to UWC, we bloody hell missed our stop... then walk like rubbish as i moodily contemplated, what the fuck am i doing here? Pardon my language, i know i shouldnt be swearing but the 4 years at crescent spent doesnt help, it only aggravates. Anyways we go in and find a really small astro turf sand pitch (old SPE... ugh.) yes and we realise that today's tourny consisted of a grand total of 3 outstanding schools. Rj, Nj and UWC. How sad. That did not improve my mood. What the hell was i doing there... from 11 to 4, playing teams that i dont really care about beating. With a team that i'm not close to, with people that i say hi to, then find nothing else interesting to say because i know that i'm different from them. Luckily huijia was there to keep me from loosing it... Our first game was against Rj team-i-cant-remember cos they sent in 3 teams. i think we won, yes we did. i cant remember who scored though. Might be karen or me. Anyways by the end of that i was really tired and thirsty, and was prepared to get off. But GEEZ i didnt know, our next game happened to be, right after that! PLUS it was UWC, and shit i hate the way they play.
me:"fine lah, their body mass bigger than mine, but i'll try to fight back when they push"
hj: "fine lah their neh bigger than mine, but i'm gonna push them anyway"
They push like nobody's business, and tackle our legs and anyhow whack. They have not much skill but get by through BRUTE FORCE. So many times obstruction or blocking but the shitty umpires never called.
"UMPIREEEE KAAAAYUUUUUUU!!!!!!"
The day continued on like that... Match after match pass, with me and hj wanting to go home more than ever... Even Barber noticed my lack of enthusiasm. He commented on my immobility and my lack of emotion when i scored. Like, whatever... its only a game. i have none of my feelings attached to any of it.
Anyway we finished 3 out of 6. We beat UWC team 1 i think in the 3rd 4th placing game, so that was mildly pleasing. It also rained halfway so that wasnt as pleasing. Anyway so that was my sucky day. Did i mention that today sucked? i just did. And that last night sucked too? i think i did.
i apologise again to all who actually read through my depressing shit.
rockin' at 11:06 PM
Friday, March 05, 2004
"If you dont open up to the people that love you, you'll always be alone. i cant believe you want to spend your life like that."
rockin' at 11:25 PM
I'm in a fucking foul mood right now. You should very well know why. i dont understand you. What the hell were you up to today...?!?! i mean, fine you have your problems. Everyone deserves their own "off" days... But you dont go dragging everyone else down along with you. You're not the only one with problems. You dont have to be selfish, spoiling everyone's mood... We have our own levels of tolerance, and you're up to the max for the both of us already. Then you keep to yourself, you dont explain anything. As though we mean nothing to you. We cant help you even if we wanted to, you know. Neither does it seem that you're helping yourself. Shit i dont mean to scold you or anything but its too much already. We've had it up to our necks and the waters are still rising.
Now i feel like crying. You think we're unaffected, still laughing still joking as though nothing is wrong as you keep silent. But you're killing us, you know. We're getting depressed... others around have even noticed. What the hell happened? i dont get it... we havent changed, we've been the same idiots since day 1. We miss you even as you sit beside us. Now i cant even look at you. I'm at a loss for words right now...
"i've never had a friend tt dun want to tell me how he's feeling lor"
How do you survive on your own? In that hard little shell built around you, dont you feel suffocated? Dont your thoughts scream at you every night... We're here to help you, you know. Even if you dont need help, we will support you. i think you need it right now. But you're pushing us away.
We're here for you, you know.
rockin' at 10:58 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Ahahhahah. That stupid afghan boy loves to make this WERID accent that makes him sound, i dunno... older and more monotone or something... Then today when we were playing basketball, when he misses his 3 point shots, he goes, "shiiiiit" which sounds more like, "sheaaat" cos of his silly accent! AHAHHAHAHHAHA i find it damn funny. i dont know why but i always laugh when i hear him say that. Especially shit.
Anyway i'm getting hungry now. i just ate 3 pathetic small pieces of jelly which did nothing to help my hungry stomach. i think i need bananas... Ahahahha. No i'll scour my kitchen for some form of nourishment!
OHH I MUST SAY! My elder sis is so cool. She got her bf to bring down our gifts from china, and she got me this COOL NIKE JACKET or windbreaker, that is original... but she paid a much less price. Why? Because it was smuggled out from the nike factory! So cool right? This kind of thing also have... Then she got me a couple of cool hair tie thingys which i'm currently using one right now, and she got my younger sis a COOL MP3 PLAYER. Granted it may not be the most stylish or whatever, it can play GOOOOD MUSIC (cos obviously our taste in music rocks, our mp3 list thus will rock, and the music played most definetely ROCKS.)
Ya anyway while i was flipping through my chem notes, i was listening to Third Eye Blind's Blinded and Mew's Comforting Sounds. The latter rocks, cos the later part guitar riffs are dammit chio. But i havent heard blinded in ages, and to hear his voice breathing into my ears = pure ecstacy. Another guy's voice that i love to hear is Jimmy Eat World's lead... i forget his name. But when he sings Your New Aesthetic, and i blast it on my ear phones, i completely fall in love with his voice... i dunno i remember some time ago i wrote that i'd fall in love/marry anyone who could sing to me that way... AHAHHAHA AND YARN TRIED or something. Man that was rubbish.
AHAHAHHAHAH. Read this from the ffg forums:
Shiro: Myself and Jovian suffering from an innate fear of death.
Somebody: I suffer form same exact fear, sadly. And I really don't know what to make of it. Sometimes at night I'll be lying in bed, and think of dying and not be able to sleep.
Anime-FFX_freak: You guys are only like... 20 years old each?
i scour the forums every now and then only to find some stupid shit that they think up of! And its bloody hilarious...
I'm having dark chocolate now and its so bloody sinful i'm gonna cry. MY FAV CHOCOLATE.
Ps: Dont so sad, k? :( If you sad then everyone around you also sad one. No use worrying... i get worried too.
rockin' at 11:05 PM
Been talking to vince for 3 hours straight liao... in a real sappy mood so i'm playing, Everything by Lifehouse.
find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything
My gawd what a beautiful song
rockin' at 1:05 AM
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Today was mildly rubbish. OK I LIED. But today i feel so quai. i attended all lectures! Anyway this morning during math tutorial was damn funny. K so we got new tutor, then she asked us to fill up this plain paper with our particulars and whatever we want to say. Then cos i brought chocolates (which were DAMN good), regina wanted alot alot, so she grabbed like 6-7 pieces before passing it down... leaving like very little left for the class. So i angry then write "Ps: regina is fat cos she eats alot of chocolates" on my paper. Then regina angry and she wrote, "Stefni thinks Ser Jing from s9 (i think?!) is cute" then i got damn maad so i wrote, "Regina _____ Qing Xiang!" then i drew a small heart after the !. Yaa then regina got DAAAMN pissed and she wrote, "Stefni _______ GW" then we BOTH got DAAAAMN PISSED and she drew a heart in her blank, so i drew a heart in my blank also, then we both got angrier. So we decided to call a truce and drew a cross over the stupid red-coloured hearts. Oh and meanwhile i tried to retrieve some chocolates then reg and jiahwa got into a "fight" then reg forgot she put like 3 chocs in her pocket for safe keeping then she so violent then fight until the chocs all SQUISHED. Then she ate them. AHAHHAHAHAHA. Grow fat then you know :p
Anyway! Today so suay. Cos the 3 of us went to play cards during break, so i went chem lecture with them. Then sat next to vince, and my left seat empty... Guess who sat there?!?! YEEEES SO SMARRRT. Gw sat. i so suay. Then see reg's face when she saw i feel like punching her. Sob... actually wanted to switch with vince but he said dont be so bad lah. Then i thought, ya hor i'm so nice. So i tahan-ed. Actually i never talk to him for so long, so i kinda forgot how irritating he is. So he became quite bearable. i even offered my apple sweet to him. i so nice right?!?!
Kk physics prac became another "gossiping" period for me and reg. She noticed some stuff lah... dowan to say here. i think our class... Sure will be divided, like those who drop chinese most likely going another class right... Like that can forget about majority of s10 liao. Yaa then that Mrs Teo still say what, 10 - 4 is like partial intake, and like quite a few of my classmates got 10... i feel very sad if they dont manage to stay :( Sob now feeling a bit down.
Anyway after that went to meet that bloody huijia who idioticaly tried calling me during phy prac. So ya went with her find Barber... Shes appealing! Yay! i think her chances quite high... Must try ya! Dont regret later on... Ya then talk talk alot then finally brought huijia meet some of my classmates... Then played cards with vince and afghan boy until she almost late for sa training. Go training somemore lah! Go lah! IDIOT I PAID FOR THE CAB FARE. You treat me something next time. Ya i left with her cos the guys wanted to play pool and i dowan to be some extra girl act popular then dunno how to play pool so malu. Took a cab down to sa, met huiee shanna bear claryce cow... Then they went for trng cept for huiee cow and i.
We then decided to go watch the bball match on in the hall! So exciting! See pros play! Ya the game was quite nice to watch... like got some DAMN CHIO shots, see already want to cheer kind. Ya haha we were the only 3 girls there like watching so maybe our presence gave the bballers there ego boost :p But ya lah quite nice to watch... Didnt want to leave! Finally left at 6:45 like that... Ay ay fell asleep on the bus so malu '-_-
Anyway my mom is like MAAD i tell you. This morning in the car, shes like... So... Take S Papers, k? I'm like WTH i dont know if i can pass promos even and you come here dump another truckload of pressure on me... Thanks alot! She has such high expectations from me i dont know what to do or say... Even in boyfriends. Like, the other day she was asking me... "So you got boyfriend now not?" And i'm like OF COURSE NOT lah! Then she continued, "Sure got some boys like you one right...? Got not? Then when you want to start having boyfriends?" You know i was like i wanna die liao... Ask this kind... Luckily my dad butted in and told her, "Why are you pressuring her?? Dont lah! She want then have dont force her..." My mom then was like... "No lah only asking..." Sob i think she damn enthu about me having a nerdy boyfriend. She knows i like nerds too so she doesnt mind if i have one. BUT if i get like some chao lion-dance golden hair dragon pants kind of ah beng boyfriend she SURE COMPLAIN. So bias, right? But haiyah can tell her wait long long. No one would like me this kind of chao ah lian who anyhow sit and anyhow talk cock. So unladylike somemore, play sports and become a sweaty girl (hint @ audrey's displeasure) :p
Ay tomorrow is tutorial day. LETS PLAY BRIDGE! Hahahhaha.
rockin' at 10:44 PM
Monday, March 01, 2004
I'm tired of blogging the day's events... Lets just say how i feel. I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS.
i spoke to june today... i think... Well. I'm pretty much VERY hurt. And insulted, somewhat. No, no its not about them, its about you. Yes. You act so innocent for the past 3-4 years we have known you, and when we ask you about stuff you simply deny it or act as though you do not understand. Lies. All lies. i dunno. i feel... like... yeah i know it for sure now. Why couldnt you just admit it? Like how i admitted stuff like so many others? Plus i've shared so much with you, couldnt you return the favour? Or at least respect me? You think we are all blind to your little dropped hints, and you think you can get away with it. Hellooo, do we your best friends for 4 years mean nothing to you? Is she more important? Or is it that your reputation is more important? i dont know. i dont think you will ever voluntarily come up to us and come clean... spill everything to us and share your burden. That is quite painful... And even you know what that feels like, to have your close friends keep something from you! Yet you subject us again to the same torture! Like... Whatever, you really succeeded in making us feel damn down. Thank you very much!
rockin' at 9:21 PM
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