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Saturday, January 29, 2005
Baby you should let me love you
Let me be the one to
Give you everything you want and need
My wrist hurts. AGAIN. Wtf la... Ok i guess the good thing is that i only feel the pain after the game, not during. So it doesnt really matter.
ARGH. Today's game... Oh gawd. i played so badly first half... farrah kept scolding me. For silly mistakes and shit, like throwing stick. i dont blame her... i'd have shouted at me too. But it was just so frustrating for me... my body was just simply physically spent. Seriously... But we could have WONN. THATS WHATS MAKES IT SO FRUSTRATING. i wanted to win so badly. i couldnt stand that fucking midfielder, number 15 bib. Fucking bitch, tackle me so damn badly that i fell. Bitch. Dont know how to play dont play la. Go home and act pretty. But anyway i dunno. Today i felt out of my element in the game. i hope that doesnt happen tomorrow. i so want to play well.
This morning, the girls did an hour of PT, while me and nissa thought of drills for them. Then after that, we did this drill which me and nissa concocted which turned out very well, everyone learnt something SUPER IMPT. But it took so much effort. Esp on nissa's part... love her lots. Anyway after that, we did one-on-one with ruebi. i taught bekky how to actually carry out one-on-one, and taught ruebi how to follow and cover angles. Which again was quite tiring. But bekky said she learnt alot which made me very happy :) :) After that we did short corners... taught bekky how to stop, and did some hits with puppy and stopped some pullouts from nissa. Was super tired after that... Oh my. The sun sapped away my energy. On our way out with the soccer guys (i know we quite sneaky), saw dave... with his battle wounds and all. Poor thing. Spoke to him abit. Nice guy. He said he doesnt like soccer much haha =p GO FOR TRACK!! soccer sucks. Anw we girls headed to kap for lunch, it was damn fun la. Hahahhahah bekky's "ba da ba dap baaah!!" theme song hahahhaha. Oh then i headed to the game :s
Why i feel tired. Yesterday ran roadrun for my house, got 5th position in J2 girls :) :) Quite proud of myself... i really gave it my all. i couldnt beat peishan and her canoeing friend though. i was QUITE close at the last part. like less than 5m away... if only i had training :p Oh well. She's really strong!! Anyway... in the evening, we went to jac's place for a senior-junior barbecue. It was quite fun. i LOVE jac's little sis!!!!!! Josephine. Such a dear. Anyway last minute got dunked thanks to a pretty girl and a sexy babe. Tsssk. My five dollar watch is cool k. David was so irritating :p He kept splashing me when i was trying to get dry. i tell you he's a stupid monkey la. Really look like a cheeky monkey.
So when you add all these factors together, and the fact that i'm meeting the girls for breakfast 7.30 tomorrow, then watch the guy's game at delta... then have to head down to ccab at 3 for my game against scc, then have to "mug" for chem and econs lect test tomorrow, HOHO. I'm gonna be dead tired. And i'm lovin' it. HAHAHHAHA.
rockin' at 10:50 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
I'm able to use the computer for the first time this entire week because I'M NOT GOING SCHOOL TOMORROW. i asked my mom if it was okay, and she gave me this enthusiastic "yes!" which made me feel like asking her if i could skip school the entire next week so that she'll be happy... but nah. Alrriiight. Where to begin. Just too many things to jot down... The hockey team doing's good, we just had our first friendly this year, against MI. It went alright, but of course we had alot of polishing up to do, especially fitness, listening to instructions and knowing where to stand and stuff. But i think today the girls did well. They did listen to the screams of "DO THIS DO THAT" which me huijia nissa dished out like freebies. We stayed to watch the guy's game, and oh my. How unfriendly the friendly was. Unfriendlier than our NUS game the other night. Anyway it resulted in alot of pushing (i saw *OBVIOUSLY* rahul, david pushing) and yaz receiving a bloody nose from a mat with a bad attitude. Happy chinese new year yaz. The guys need to work on their gameplay. i think the gameplay for us girls are getting along well, its no where near perfect, but we worked on it, and now its alot better than what we were given. The girls really are trying which makes me feel immensely, indescribably proud.
Today was extremely hot. And cultural mapping was as rubbish as ever. We just sweated and chatted the entire way, with our junior class's civics tutor harping on our every move and vocal resonance, with her hawk like presence over us in the hot hot sun, her *COUGH* dainty *COUGH* voice going, "would you please lower your volume this is a blah blah..." Oh pshaw. Am i glad she's not my tutor. Anyway today russell was oh so cute. He was doing maths during civics lesson (because he was bored), then he suddenly asked jiahwa what her name was. Aiyo he's such a dear. Even though he may be abit hard for guys to get along with, but he's just such a darling around girls, that you'd immediately be endeared by him. Oh and he knows how to flatter too ;) He told me that i have big eyes today, and i was like "ok maybe i should close them or something" but he was like, "no dont! blah blah... :)" Which made my day, actually.
i wrote a letter to Benji today. It was a rubbish letter with really really bad handwriting which i shouldnt have given it to him but i had to because i owed him a letter for ages and i was way too tired to rewrite it. And he's really nice too so i felt that i should write to him. School is really taking the breath out of me. i dont know why... its not like i study for 2 hours everyday, no i dont. But its just the chore of going through the routine of school and the heat and the people and the sheer amount of STUFF that you have to do that really made me so damn tired this morning. And made me wanna not go to school tomorrow.
i have this craving for chocolate recently.
i dont really like the lady who is selling the cheap dry fit jerseys. But they're cheap. Oh well.
My wrist is worrying me. Its not a huge pain. Just that its there. Argh.
I'm buying a new MP3 player! iShuffle. Cos its cheap. And i'm paying for it myself. And i'm cheap. So there.
I'm gonna go now. Go complain about stuff and discuss more stuff... and stuff. Hoho i'm gonna get cip hours for road run day on friday whee!
rockin' at 9:23 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Its difficult saying, "oh i'm gonna do this this this. I'm gonna be like this this that. I'll never be that this that." Because you never really know what you're gonna feel, what you're gonna do and how you're gonna react when you're thrown into random circumstances. Circumstances which you've never really given much thought to sometimes, those that you merely spare a flash of thought for when you're incredibly bored or your mind just wonders from parallel to parallel.
i never really sat down and thought of how'd i would feel at a funeral. i mean of course, that'd be weird. It'd seem like i was on prozac or something. But its just that, it never registered to me that funeral = sad, tears. Its not a y = x kinda straightforward boom bang equation which you just sub your values into. Its incredibly complex. The whole reality never really hit me. Not even while i was on my way to the wake in my mom's car, dressed in black. It was all surreal. All i remember is that i didnt want to reach there anytime soon. But i did. And once we got there, we headed straight to where my Grandfather was lying. After we made some offerings, my dad took us to see him. Actually, i didnt have any problem looking at him, but it was just that... The uncertainty. The reluctance to come to reality. The entire atmosphere where my dad was kinda pushing me forward. i didnt like it. But i went forward. My dad told us not to be afraid, he started telling us that my Grandfather would look after us and all... Which made me cry. Well, tear actually. i could have broken down there and then but i controlled.
i was never really close to him, and i'd never thought that something like his death would affect me so much. After all i only saw him once a year, and we didnt have conversations because i couldnt speak hokkien, and he was pretty much almost deaf. So if you asked how i felt hypothetically, i'd honestly say, "i'm fine." But i wasnt.
You can never pre-programme yourself to feel something, or behave in a certain way before it actually happens. Usually things backfire. You have to let your body and feelings run its own course, and of course, dont think too much. Try not to do, "ohh i'll never behave like that in that situation" because you might have to eat your own words one day.
rockin' at 11:13 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
i find myself becoming increasingly interested in politics and world economics. No that doesnt mean i'm going to become a politician (yucks) but it does mean more reading for me. And i actually like it. Haha fine shudder as you like, but i guess this new found interest excites me, and i think it could actually helped with everything - schoolwork, daily life and of course, carrying on certain conversations. Its really very interesting to see other people's take on certain circumstances, like for example, the fact that UN Peacekeepers have been found to be sexually abusing young girls and children in places where they are posted to like Congo and Uganda, and another example, the fact that Egypt has been found to have been carying out nuclear weapon research the latest being in the 1990s, and perhaps until just recently. Which is a frightening though, despite their assurance that it is a peaceful operation. Its just that, there are so many things to learn and discover and know outside your boring notes and textbooks, so many in-your-face life examples and experiences which directly apply all those "rubbish" from your texts and make it into something that makes sense and which can actually directly affect you. Its scary. But oh so enticingly drawing.
I'm gonna relax abit today, perhaps do abit of chem (cos i'm not touching physics), and then play abit of tennis. Virtual tennis, that is. I'm no harland haha.
rockin' at 1:04 PM
Friday, January 07, 2005
i love the rare people who tag my tag board! hahaha. Thanks guys, i'm not sad anymore! And mammoth, i guess you two can always share lines. Heh dont worry you wont be mistaken as the one who used the other guy's line.
Today we didnt have any lessons. Well except for physics lect which we were forced to attend because the student's lounge was CLOSED and we had no where to go to. Sad huh. So we trudged to the lt, and i filled in my notes messily and half heartedly. i dont wanna take physics anymoreee.. :S HURRY DROP!! But cant la. i think i must purposely get F9 for common tests.
Anyway we had some silly cip-cum-junior class bonding-cultural road sign road trip today. It was quite fun actually, our group was damn FUNNY. Those two hockey guys are SUPER lame. Omg seriously. They are the worst i've ever seen!!!!! Its like, whatever this guy david says right, i must think twice for a double meaning... Or else get caught unaware for one of his silly cracks. It happened so many times during the walk, me and jiahwa didnt know whether to kill him or endure him (hence lowering our brain cells count). After that we had lunch together and headed back to school. We lazed around abit, hearing more JOKES (all varieties: lame, racist etc... But none intellectual of course :p) and then they left to pick up stuff for their barbecue later that evening. Me jiahwa siewee and yulin headed to the canteen to chat with cai fan uncle (AGAIN) hehhe and played taitee with him. LOL SIEWEE LOST to cai fan uncle and had to do the forfeit - which was to run 1 lap (400m) which she really did. Hahhahaha then she not happy challenge him again. But she always ended up losing :p After that we played some bridge amongst ourselves after cai fan uncle lost and was throwing a tantrum, until cai fan untie came to play with us hehhe. So it went on til like 6.30, then we headed to see how the barbecue was going.
OH MAN our junior class is daaamn nice. There this boy, Russell from VS... HE IS SO DAMN FRICKING SWEET!!! He asked me jiahwa and siewee if we wanted any particular food, and he'll get it for us!!! Also, he got us each a drink each without us asking!!! OH MAN. SO GENTLEMANLY. SO SWEET. i must bring up my son like him. The rest of the barbecue was just stealing food, taking alot ALOT of stupid photos. HAHA there was one: regina and jiahwa bot leant forward, their faces bent forward facing each other, lips puckered. It was supposed to be a "pretend going to kiss" shot. Then siewee called out, "OK 3, 2, ONE!!!!!" And on one, i pushed regina's head forward and she KISSED JIAHWA HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA. IT WAS HER FIRST KISS EVER HAHAHAHHAHHAA. Jiahwa was quite proud to be reg's first kiss tho. The picture was classic. Abit lag, but still cool. Another pic, siewee and reg were smiling sweetly, then "3, 2, OOONNNEEE!" and siewee suddenly grabbed reg's breasts. THE PICTURE CAME OUT DAMN GROSS!!!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHHA it was like, two people smiling sweetly, one grabbing the other's breasts. And both still happy. HAHAHHAHAHHA.
Ahh. Reg was being quite bitchy today. So we ganged up on her and did the usual girl attack girl thing, try to lift her shirt or kick her ass or something. i got a hold of her shirt daamn firm and i wedged it upwards exposing her back, and the junior boys were like staring and they all said, "WHOAAA" DAAAAMNMMNMNMNM FUNNYNYNYNY SHITHISTIIHHISHIT!!!!!!!! Hahahhahahha it was like first time see girl's bareback. Reg should be so honoured LOLOL.
And then we left while the party was still in full swing :D (think why) Alrighty enough i'm gonna sleep now... Have to go hand in U-21 form to nordin tomorrow morning!
rockin' at 10:50 PM
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Things are going to change for some people. i dont know if you'll see it, but you probably wont if it doesnt involve you :) Its just this - I've had ENOUGH.
This is one of the lowest i've felt about myself and no one should let you feel that way. Understand my dear readers? You are great, brilliant, wonderful. You can achieve so many things and be such an inspiration to others. You are irreplacable. So dont EVER let anyone make you feel like shit because 1) what random people say about you should never matter and 2) if its someone you are close to who's doing that to you, that is oh so much worse. Its like a newly wed wife finding out that her husband has a streak for screaming and insulting her over the littlest of things (kinda like what i saw on Oprah). And the only thing you should do is to stand up tall, and stop that fucking horrid treatment the best way you can.
Smile because you have been given the gift to be the person you want to be. Life is too short to be concerned about the fat content of chocolate bars, and the sniggers of strangers behind your backs, because once you have those that matter - Family, Friends, Love... You dont need much more :)
rockin' at 9:44 PM
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
OH MY. Its the start of school ALREADY! My computer has been collecting dust in the meanwhile. The first two days were quite a bore actually. EXCEPT for our training on tues. We kept together tighter than glue for our last run, and i was so damn proud of all our girls. Love them each so much. And then today, save for my HORRIBLE pms mood in the early day and the terrible cramping, the cca carnival was great. Well great cos we had lots of people signing up! Despite not having any experienced girls interested, the overwhelming response was wonderful. Oh and the guys are so damn lucky to have so many experienced players come forward to them!! Dammit jealous. Anyway ali came down, took everyone for training which went great. AND THEN. Today is huijia's birthday hehehhe. SOOO the entire team had a wonderful plan to "egg & flour" huijia! It was great. Nissa came from behind, tried to break the egg on huijia's head, which didnt work, so she quickly broke the egg on the shelf beside her and smeared the rest of the egg on huijia's head. Then the rest of the girls followed suit and soon she was covered in egg and flour. LOL her hair was damn cool macham dyed grey. Ok then after that was alot of cleaning up and playing around too! Huijia being loving gave me a big eggy hug, and Shaun also very nice come and use water gun squirt me with coke and water. The girls were great in helping us get the place eggless. :) And ps: they looked great in their new hockey shirts hehehe!
Alrighty! i miss regina loottttsss! She's been gone for sooo looong! Sigh. Ohh and i'll miss the seniors too!!! A few of them enlisting tmr and on friday... gonna miss them alot :( School's gonna be so different. But im hoping the j1s will be great :)
rockin' at 9:33 PM
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