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Semis
Sunday, May 22, 2005
We lost 2-0 to Vj on thursday.. Its saturday already but it seems so recent. Sigh.. What to say. i really felt that we could somehow win, despite the overwhelming odds against us - their sheer number of experienced players, their winning streak, their overlooming defending champions title.. It all meant nothing to me that day. i just played hockey. i dont feel any opression of sadness, neither do i feel pleased with performance or outcome or any of that shit. Its just - like that. You know? i felt that my girls did me proud. i didnt have to shout or scream at any of them for any silly mistakes or anything, and they were working hard, every one of them. It wasnt easy, it was so intimidating on them and i just wanted to bear it all so that they could play hockey like i know they can. But truth is, we didnt play perfect hockey, we continued making the same mistakes that ali warned us against, and it hurt me when i heard how he reacted to our overall performance... i just felt very responsible. i apologised to him, but he told me that we did the best of our ability - that sometimes we just have to see the strength and depth of our team, of what we have, and he felt that we made the best out of it. Are we not champion material? Perhaps. If we were, we would have won, wouldnt we? Haha.. I'm not sore. I'm just a bit delusional right now. Its like our soccer boys. They were up against vj too in their semis on friday... Vj is defending champs for soccer too. Despite all that, they were each so damn confident of their abilities - not cocky or arrogant, but sheer confident. They said, "Yeah vj, so what? Yeah they are a strong team, but thats just it, they are strong. That doesnt mean we cant beat them." i love that attitude. i hope my girls had that attitude when they went onto the pitch that day, or else that game would have meant so much less to them.
Dev told me something that i felt was a very silly thing to say. He said that its no good having such expectations on yourself because you'd only meet with disappointment (especially when you are up teams this good). But i dont think so. If you dont even believe in yourself, how are you going to push yourself beyond what you THINK is even possible? You'd be stagnant. Just flat. No drive for improving your own play because you're afraid. i think thats very sad. Dev is scared of disappointment. But i say you should accept it. Because its all part of life, you will meet with disappointments a fair number of times - i personally already have. But its how you deal with it and use it to your advantage, that will determine your final outcome. Like this reality boxing show i've been watching, The Contender. The first guy to be eliminated, Peter Manfredo was a world ranked boxer, he was beaten by kid who had less than half his experience. Of course he was humbled and affected - it was his first loss EVER and he EXPECTED to win easily. But he had the chance to return to the game, and when it came to the opportunity to rematch, he fought hard. The kid fought hard too. But Manfredo won and managed to show his true stuff. Imagine. If he was afraid to be beaten AGAIN by this kid, imagine what it would have done to his pride and psychological state of mind. It would have shattered him. But he sucked it up, he knew that it had to be done to overcome his barrier to be a better fighter.
i tell you now, dont fear the obstacle in front of you. Dont fear disappointment. When you fear something before you even attempt to tackle it, you have already lost more than half the battle. Winning and losing is not determined simply by skills or tactics. Mental strength plays a strong part too. I've seen underdogs use this to their advantage and in boxer Sergio Mora's own words, "How do you beat a 600 pound gorilla? You let it defeat itself. Up here." he pointed to his head. And it works.
rockin' at 1:01 AM
OI LEGS LAH
Monday, May 16, 2005
Hahahhaha yarn says i have a chao siren team. SIREN not si-ren. Like the bi-por bi-por of an ambulance siren type. Anyway i admit it, i'm noisy as hell on the pitch. i love screaming "OYY" and "LEGGS LAAH" in front of my opponent's faces. Its all psychological, baby. Sometimes (well most anyway) my opponents get affected by my shouting, and mentally i'm one up already. Also i find it helps me control my temper on the pitch, as insane as it sounds. Its like a form of release of pent up frustration. Anyway i just found out how much it actually affects people, like today playing against scc for div 2 (we won 1-0) this lady i was marking (shes quite old. like late 30s early 40s?) told me "you dont have to shout" for legs or something. And i'm thinking.. whatever. Theres no rule which says you cant make noise on the pitch, and comon its a game. You need such vocals to communicate, to spur on your team, to psyco out your opponents. And i'm using it to my advantage. Also, for the sa game which we won 2-1, i overheard the sa coach saying "Comon lah just because she (ie me) shouts doesnt mean you have to listen to her". But the girls did listen and were affected. But anyway its a habit already. And the umpires never told me to cut it out so hah! (i just realise how bitchy i sound, but who the hell cares!) :p
rockin' at 12:35 AM
Monday, May 09, 2005
Update on the hockey tourny so far..
0-2 lost to RJ
3-0 won AJ
2-0 won CJ
Tomorrow is the game against MI.. i know they're gonna be violent, agressive and going all out. So are we. We have to, or we're gonna lose out. i hope i dont play as badly as i did for the CJ match, that day really sucked. i felt so horrible. NEVER EVER EAT OILY CAI FAN BEFORE A GAME. Not even 5 hours can give you enough time to digest all that jazz churning in your poor tummy. So that was my downfall, and i fully blame cai fan because i could still taste the fucking food in my mouth (i felt like puking throughout the game). Great for me, hmm. Oh well i'm just glad the rest of the team played really hard, even without Bekky! You girls deserve it :) I'm so proud of you all.
i feel the pressure of blogging within 10min.. Desperate Housewives started. Hahaha i'm going off. My blog is so stale. i bet there's mould at the sides or something.
rockin' at 9:54 PM
Its all a circle
Monday, May 02, 2005
Long weekend over, the heat wave continues.
Endless tutorials continue, sleep inducing lectures continue.
Wonderful hockey tourny continues.
The stretch to the A levels continue..
Shit.
rockin' at 9:58 PM
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