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Bitching
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Listening to Avalanche by Ryan Adams
i just watched Mean Girls last weekend, yes i know cheesy bitchy teenie show. But it struck me that the show isnt all an exaggeration of extremist high school popularity chasers. It reminded me so much of so much that i've experienced, heard of and have known all this while. Girls love to gossip.
By gossiping i mean talking behind another girl's back, telling stories (which are true) or exaggerating half-truths. You know, i used to think that just talking about people, like reciting stories that i've heard or experienced with a particular person, or repeating things that my girlfriends have told me, was okay. I mean, for circumstances in which i was there - i was a part of things, if i repeat a juicy story or scandal that a girl friend of mine did, it wouldnt be all that bad, wouldnt it? Because techinically, i was there. And i'm telling it how i saw it. Wouldnt it be the truth?
That was what i used to think. But what i realised is that there is no reason for me to repeat that story unless i have the aim of humiliating, embarrassing and hurting that girl. There is nothing to gain from gossiping other than the satisfaction of superiority over another human being. That, with that girl being such a "slut" or "whore" by making out with random guys in clubs, when i spread the word, i can rest assured that my own reputation is intact, that when people give me surprised wide-eyed looks of omg!, i can be all proud and smug and think, "i'm better than her right now. People think she's all loose or she has such disgusting morally corrupt habits, while i'm alright."
Right now, i'm thinking that i dont ever ever want to cause that kind of pain to anyone, especially not my own friend. Sometimes, we tell our girlfriends "stories" or little juicy details of another person. It may seem fun, it did to me, last time. But we're not thinking about the entire picture here. It may be alright if its just a stranger or whatever, but when it comes to your own circle of friends, of people you know and have spent time with, the hurt is very real. It isnt fair to the gossip victim. I understand that sometimes girls gossip to get rid of frustration. Maybe you dont agree with what your friend has done or is doing, like say cheating on her boyfriend. But thing is, you dont go around complaining and whining to all your other friends except the girl herself. If you dont feel comfortable with her decision, why not go straight and tell her? And if she isnt even your friend, WHY THE HELL BOTHER SAYING ANYTHING. You stand nothing to gain but your only malicious reward is ruining that girl's reputation! Remember, karma is a bitch.
I'm beginning to see the value of openness. i can understand why most dislike people who are very straightforward. But why pretend to like someone? Does sincerity have zero value? The next time that you have the urge to bitch, complain, tell a story of someone you know to your girlfriend... Think twice. See if it is really necessary. Then see if you can look into the eyes of your gossip victim the next time you see her, and not feel at all guilty of devaluing her.. If you can, and you still realise your tongue is slipping, then boy i do hope for your sake that your friends arent feeling obliged to do the same for you.
rockin' at 12:56 AM
Goodbye
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Listening to Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay
Bye i'm going off to Siem Reap to see the Ang Kor Wat temple. My blog is dead either way so uhh.. Just run along now, friends.
rockin' at 4:50 PM
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