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pau has cute puppies
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Listening to Nothing Better by Postal Service
i gave it thought, and i realised nothing good is ever going to come out of being an emo shitface.
So on a different note, last night's stayover at pau's place was great! We watched 5 movies in total, although one was super lousy (see: bad acting, bad acting of being mystry, bad fake british accent, bad script, bad one-liners, bad bad bad) and fast-forwarded to gore and the ending, and Munich we watched only the first ten mins then decided that 3am isnt a good time to watch a movie that required intellectual thought. And anyway by then shanna had long already passed out on the floor. Mavis was sleeping like a good ol' beetles log. So me huijia and pau headed off to the trusty internet where we laughed like fuck at some retard on youtube who was singing that lameass song that goes like this: "so where'd you go i miss you so crap blah". And the cheesy video of her acting coy and cute by strategically placing the camera where her cleavage of tits could be easily seen and her wide wide eyes sweeped the camera O GROSSEST OF GROSS HOW MUCH MORE RETARDED CAN THIS WORLD GET. i enjoy laughing at stupidity.
Then after we got tired, the three of us went on pau's creeky bed (which you cant blame - its not used to 3 people). After abit of teasing and romping, we finally settled down to sleep. Just fucking kidding. We talked til 5, about lots of stuff. Girly stuff. So that was a highlight. And it led to me coming to the conclusion that i want to be able to have sex like a guy. Ie - no strings attached, just purely the physical form of lust. Because i've read of so many girls mistaking sex for love, and God knows that would be terrible, wouldnt it? Waking up the next morning wondering if he loves you and if he doesnt - the guilt trip can really screw you up. I'd rather much be thinking about how great it was. Because honestly - the two are completely unrelated. Unless you purposely weave some intricate string of connected between the two, ie i wont have have sex unless i love or our love will grow with sex or sex is an act of love... NO. I'd rather not overthink physical lusts with emotion. Its like for men: If i think a girl has a great character, love her. If i think i girl is absolutely hot, fuck her. You dont go love someone because you are physically attracted to them. Thats just dumb.
rockin' at 1:02 AM
Thank You
Friday, May 19, 2006
Listening to Move Along by The All-American Rejects
I'm going to share something that is very important to me, with you. This is a huge part of me. It changed me as a person from that day; and through the years that follow, i grow and become what i am and what i am going to be, greatly because of this.
"You always make me think about things more than anyone else here. You're the only one here that makes me feel guilty for being such a prick sometimes, because you compell me to go to the other side of things, like i WANT to see it your way when you're done talking. Thank you."
Its barely a paragraph. But it has such a profound effect on me. That marked the first and only time that someone i respected so greatly, respected me for who i am. Not for how i acted, not for how i looked. But for how i thought. It taught me something incredible - the power of words, the importance of thought. It is important to think for yourself - it determines who you are. Even if others shoot you down, you stand by what you believe, or you mould yourself to become better.
And from then on, i have been looking for someone who could somehow make me feel that same way i feel when i read those words. Or more specifically, someone who could recognise me for who i really am. And i get scared because i dont think there is anyone.
But i am so grateful.
rockin' at 4:40 PM
i dont know
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Listening to Pen and Notebook by Camera Obscura (thanks to Shanna!)
ARRGH. Have you ever got that feeling - yes i'm sure you had. You believe that you are finally over him, that you can really move on and accept and forget everything that once made you care. BUT FUCK SOMETHING IN YOU FUCKING STIRS AND YOU REMEMBER AND YOU FEEL AND YOU THINK AND YOU REALLY HURT. Oh jeezes this really fucking sucks. i dont get it. i dont get why i have to feel like absolute shit. i never knew him inside out, intimately. i never got to test all my "qualities i use to measure fuckability" (in generic terms, of course). It just happened. And it fucking wont go away. If you knew who i am referring to you'd call me a fucking loser; a hopeless retard. Gawd i'm feeling so low right now.
i think Damien Rice knows the only answer to this problem: its the last line of The Blower's Daughter.
rockin' at 1:12 AM
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Listening to The Professor by Damien Rice
Following picture by special request of Qing:
rockin' at 11:03 PM
Outing
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Listening to Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
Finally met up with the nj hockey girls today!! Although the outing was abit of a failure in the beginning when 2 people cancelled last min and three or four were VERY late.. Luckily i got puppy and alicia or else i can wait in town for 1 hour myself :( BUT IT WAS GOOD MEETING UP WITH YOU GIRLSSS. Here are some pics hoho
The group photo at Starbucks
Lingyi being CUTE!!
The disgusting remains of our Earthquake at Swensens when puppy decided to dump the remaining icecream into the dry ice.
OKAY IM TIRED OF UPLOADING PHOTOS HOW DO YOU PPLE DO IT
**EDIT I REALISE I ONLY UPLOADED THREE WHICH IS DAMN PATHETIC SO HERES MORE
Me and Wanying
Alicia, pups and Lingyi
Wanying and beks (i think beks looks like marylin here)
Lingyi and alicia
CUTE CUTE BEKKY!!!!!!!
Me, pretty huiee and pups
rockin' at 1:13 AM
Travel Woes
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Listening to Fireworks by Carpark North
Holy shit. My parents have just book a local tour for our trip to Eastern Europe. Local: i mean really european local. Its the cheap type of tour, the kind students and backpackers go for. We got fucking played out - we're paying the same shit (or more in fact), compared to the normal style fully looked-after kind of tour. AND ITS ANG MOH TYPE OF TOURS. Hello out of 10 nights, only 2 are "private". Which means the rest are like homestay or very VERY basic hotels.
Look, if i were going on this with a bunch girlfriends i'd be excited. But its with my parents, and its NOT what they are expecting. Bloody travel agent was shit. The thing that gets me more pissed is the fact that we're paying so much bloody fucking more just for her to book airplane tickets and the local tour. And the local tour is CHEAP by the way. And the cost amounts to the same and MORE as a full blown all-taken-care-of tour by Chan Brothers!!
FUCK i hate wasting money. i hate it, you know?? i never like to spend more than necessary and i HATE it when someone makes more out of you than is right (I MEAN ITS A CHEAP BLOODY TOUR) and when you feel played out. Like ripped off, you know. ARGH if i were my dad i'd be pissed.
But whatever it comes to, i dont mind going for that tour. i mean, if the deposit has been paid and all, it'd be an even bigger waste to cancel or change. Its just that i worry my parents especially my mom, wont be able to enjoy herself as much. This is a good lesson learnt. Kids, NEVER EVER BLINDY TRUST YOUR TRAVEL AGENT. GO THROUGH THE ARTINARY YOURSELF IN DETAIL BEFORE MAKING THAT FINAL DECISION. EVEN IF THE TRAVEL AGENT IS A FRIEND. Because in my case, the travel agent is in fact a close friend of my older sister. And its so fricking ironic that we get stuck with this expensive shit even with a friend as a travel agent.
rockin' at 1:16 AM
Please play for my funeral -
Friday, May 05, 2006
Listening to I Remember by Damien Rice
For my funeral please i would like you guys to play "Older Chests" by Damien Rice. i love the meaning of the lyrics
" Some things in life may change
But some things they stay the same
Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time
Time, there's always time
On my mind
Pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time"
Because that's all that you're left with after everything. And with time, search and understand. And you'll be fine.
Please dont think that i'm going all mad or suicidal on everyone. I've just realised how drastically short life can be. My elder sister just told me of her friend, whose fiance drowned yesterday in a freak diving accident (it was in the papers). The absolute saddest thing about it was that just the night before their dive, he proposed to her. Then the next day he was gone. It must have been (and still is) insanely unfair to her - everything about love a girl could hope for was supposed to have begun, but it all ended just like that. And she is left alone to deal with it all.
i love life - for all the simplest joys that it has to offer; running with my dog and knowing how happy she is, listening to my favourite songs and allowing myself to just be completely immersed in it all, smelling the cold air after a heavy heavy rain, feeling joy and emotions and knowing how lucky i am for everything. And when it comes down to my end, i will have no regrets, but grattitude for everything else before.
rockin' at 12:02 AM
GREAT DEALS ON MY GUESTBOOK!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Listening to Amie by Damien Rice
HOLY SHIT my guestbook is overrun by crazy advertisers. Honestly who do they think they are kidding?? i mean if you want to advertise, just do it. Dont write shit like "hey cool site meanwhile why dont you visit www.freepornoandsextoysjustgimmeyourcreditcardnumber.com and drop me a msg k thanx bye" Thumbs up to the straightforward laddies. i have a couple of dudes trying to sell cannibis and hashish and some great deals on anti-depressants which you never know, might come in handy now and then. So check it out. Meanwhile i'm gonna get a chatbox or some lame-ass shit like that once i'm decidedly non-lazy enough to put it up. Whee
rockin' at 11:49 PM
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